QUERY
Dear Awesome Agent,
I am seeking representation for my 70,000 word young adult novel. HEAD GAMES can best be described as a sci-fi gossip girl, set against the backdrop of fame and money in L.A. It follows the sort-of-famous daughter of an elite Hollywood couple who falls in love with a voice in her head.
Mandy thought she might have cancer. Instead it was a lie her parents told her so that she would undergo an experimental surgery guaranteed to give her an extra edge: The Center has developed a way to transform Dissociative Identity Disorder into an easily manageable system for the rich to get richer. Instead of suffering through her mother’s movie premiers or doing interviews whenever her dad makes a new movie, Mandy can now let an alternate personality handle all the boring or difficult situations. No more LA traffic-an “alt” takes the wheel and Mandy retreats to the virtual space in her head where she can do anything she wants: read a book, surf, rock climb… anything.
But ever since the surgery, there’s been a voice in Mandy’s head. He says his name is Nick and that he’s real, but Mandy is convinced that he is either an out of control alt or proof that she is crazy because the Alts aren’t supposed to share her brain space. While searching for answers to why Nick is in her head and how to get him out, Mandy discovers that The Center has been using her alts to fulfill product placement contracts: every time Mandy lets an alt out, they make sure to be photographed wearing designer clothes or using a new product. When Mandy learns the extent to which The Center has commandeered her body for their own financial gain, Nick might be the only one who can keep her sane. And they will have to work together to keep The Center’s plans from becoming deadly.
Formerly an assistant to a Los Angeles-based talent manager, I am now a high school English teacher living in Virginia. I run a book blog, The Fake Steph Dot Com, and am a member of NCTE. This is my first novel.
Many thanks,
Steph O’Neil
FIRST 250 WORDS
When I woke up, nothing felt off except for the massive headache. I winced as I lifted my head to look around, and quickly dropped it back on the pillow. I was alone, which was weird, because what parents leave their sixteen year old daughter-their only child, I might add-to wake up alone at The Center. The Center. I hated that name, but it fit the private hospital where I was staying.
The whole place was anonymous and sterile. The ceilings were high with inlaid lights shining as white and silent as everything else in the room. There wasn’t any artwork hanging on the walls, but a shelf held a single white flower in a glass vase. The smell of ammonia masked any sweet scent it may have had. A chill crawled up my back. Even the sheets, which I knew were soft and expensive, seemed to scratch my bare legs. I hated this place.
I closed my eyes, wishing the pain in my head away and trying not be angry that I was even here. It’s not like there was anyone I could blame, and as far as hospitals went, The Center was the nicest in Southern California. I counted to ten the way Mel was always reminding me. Mel was my father’s publicist, but you would think she was his therapist from the amount of time she spent telling me how to deal with problems I didn’t realize I had. When I got to three, I yelled for a nurse. I made it two seconds before the pain of yelling made me want to pass out. Unfortunately, I stayed conscious.
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DJ Siciliano says
I would love to read this so much! Gosh it’s like everything I love to read, yet nothing I’ve read before! Awesome! Good Luck!
Rachel (@rachelpud) says
Okay, we have got to share notes because your concept is semi-similar to a YA I wrote. SO obviously, I LOVE your concept here. And your writing really made me want to read more. Good luck!
Laura Rueckert says
Your story sounds fascinating. I’d love to read it. Great query! Best of luck!
Annette T. Dodd says
Good luck in the competition! (Is there any way you can enable a subscription to this pos?) Also, a lot of other entrants are hanging out at #TheWVoice, btw – join in the fun!
carol G. says
omg, this is so great.. it really pulls me in. I love strange and crazy.. can’t wait to read more.
Krista Van Dolzer says
Hi, Steph. Just wanted to let you know that HEAD GAMES was one of the entries I seriously considered adding to my team. I thought the concept was so interesting (talk about elective cosmetic surgery!), and I had ideas to make your first page even more attention-grabbing.
If you’d like some additional feedback on your query and first page, feel free to e-mail them to kvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com. I won’t be able to take a look until I get my teammates’ entries squared away (which will probably take a few weeks), but I’d be happy to share a few more thoughts.